Children in many countries learn how to use public transportation on their own from a very young age. Children in Sweden have many of their classes outside of school. Children in Japan clean their own schools. These are just some of the ways growing up can be a different experience depending on the country. This episode explores these differences.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the seventh episode of Baggage Allowance. This episode is going to be about children and how the experience of growing up varies in different countries. I will also briefly digress from the main topic to talk about travel safety. So let’s begin.

There is something unique to North America that many Canadians, Americans, and Mexicans don’t realize is unique about their nations: school buses. The iconic yellow school bus is only found in North America. Sure, I have come across school buses in India and Poland, and I assume other countries have them as well. However, these buses are usually run by private tuition-paying schools, or they are public school buses meant to collect students from rural areas where public transit does not exist. Otherwise though, students are expected to either walk, bike, or take public transit to and from school. As a result, outside of North America, most schools don’t have a fleet of vehicles that they use to transport students around. Even field trips utilize public transport. I have witnessed numerous times teachers herding their children on and off trains and buses, performing headcounts, and holding class at museums, parks, and other attractions. Sometimes with younger children, I saw one or two chaperons in addition to the teacher, but by the time students were about 10, those chaperons disappeared. By the time the students were 12 or 13, the teacher themselves don’t come. The students would travel to where they need to be on their own.

Sweden and Finland were some of the most progressive. Children still in daycare would walk around the city with their class of 8 to 12 children. They all wear these cute yellow vests and hold hands in pairs so they don’t wander off alone. The adult chaperon would roll a stroller which is useful if one of the children gets tired or hurt. I am not sure what the purpose of these trips are. They don’t seem to be going anywhere in particular. I think it is simply a learning experience for the children to get comfortable moving around in a city. After all, once they start school, they will need to start moving around on their own.

Now there are children in the United States that have this kind of freedom too. The concept even has its own name: “Free Range Parenting”. It is more common that people think. Plenty of children walk to and from school. When using public transport to go to university, I would occasionally see young children jump on to go home or to a friends house. Teenagers get their drivers license at age 16 in some states, and they make full use of that freedom. However, this all happens outside of school. When students are in school; however, things are far more restricted.

When I was in high school, we used to joke that school was like a prison, because none of the rooms had any windows. Well, a few years later, I decided to pay my old school a visit. It was 3 years after the school shooting in Newton, Connecticut, and my school responded to this news with the following security measures: metal detectors on all entrances, 12 foot high steel fences that connected all the buildings, and a massive security presence. All students had to were IDs on their neck at all times, and I had to show my papers twice just to reach my old classroom. It truly felt like a prison now.

That feeling only grew when I realized that students were not allowed outside of school property during school hours. The fences keeping intruders out can just as easily be seen as keeping students in. Compare that to schools in other countries. When I was living in Sweden, I would walk to a gym near my home. It was a public gym that belonged to a chain, nothing unusual. Here is the interesting bit though. In the mornings when I work out, children from the nearby middle school and nearby high school would come to the gym. One of the gym operators became a gym teacher for the hour and organized their workout routines. This was a public gym. Students shared the same locker rooms as the general public, and I was still free to be there and use any equipment that wasn’t reserved for them.

In another example, again in Sweden, I was doing some contract work at a start-up for a few months. Their office was in a maker-space, so it had equipment like a 3D printer, CNC machines, laser cutters, etc. Once a week, a group of students from the local high school would come to use all the equipment for their class. They came alone, not with a teacher or chaperon, and they came during school hours. This was all just part of their education. As far as safety was concerned, the main rule was basically: if you don’t know how to use something, ask one of the adults (like me) and they will help you. Some of the more dangerous equipment was in a separate locked room, and they needed an adult supervisor there, but they were still allowed to use it. It was also understood that if they did anything unruly, they would get kicked out. I observed no behavior issues.

Compare that to the United States. When I was in middle school, I was two grades ahead of my peers in math, so in my final year, I had to take classes at a local high school. But how would I get from my morning math class at the high school to the rest of my classes in middle school? Should I take public transit? Nope. The solution was to have a school bus, an entire school bus, transport me and one other student between the schools. The thought of using public transit had not even occur to me, my parents, or the school. And when it comes to extracurricular activities like sports, art, or workshops, schools in America typically have everything “on school grounds.” As a result, American high-schools often have more facilities than some foreign colleges I have visited. They are complete with tennis courts, baseball diamonds, a basketball court, a football field, a swimming pool, a theater stage, a school library, and much more. When school sports teams need to travel to other schools for games and competitions, some schools charter buses to take them there. Now, I am basing this off of a handful of high schools I saw when I was a student. These were all well funded schools in suburbia, so things might be a little different in other parts of the country. However, I think it illustrates the contrast with foreign schools. While the types of facilities provided vary country by country and on a case by case basis, I think I can safely make the broad generalization that most schools outside of North America are not the all-in-one facilities I just described. Instead, schools take advantage of the facilities around them, possibly even renting them from private companies. They can do this because students are trusted, expected, and able to navigate to all these locations outside of school grounds by themselves. Furthermore, it is not considered unsafe nor unusual for students to share facilities with the general public.

And learning how to be in public areas and use public resources is a very important skill. I was in theater class for four years in high school; however, the moment I graduated, that ended any and all involvement I had in theater. This wasn’t a deliberate choice as much as it was the default option. I didn’t even know where the public theater in my city was, nor was I aware of any clubs or groups for adults who wanted to keep performing not professionally after high school. Had my school rented out the public theater to conduct performances, I would have at least known my options. And besides that, being near and observing performances and rehearsals by adult and professional groups would have been a great learning experience regardless. Now, I ultimately left town to go to university, but even then, exposure to the public space would have still been helpful, because I would have at least become aware of groups like toastmasters, and I would have internalized the idea that attending a live performance is a good way to spend a free evening. Even among some my most passionate peers in the theater troupe, I doubt many of them attended a professional show after graduation. The same holds true for all the people who loved to make pastries in the home-ec room, or the students who huddle in the library for hours after school. Where are these people now? Are they in neighborhood kitchens or public libraries? No, they are probably at home, and probably alone.

Now, there is a stigma about public places being dirty, unmaintained, and sub-par. However, this too I think is due to the fact that people were not raised or taught in school how to care for public spaces. In Japan, public spaces are amazingly clean. Part of the reason for this though is that for their entire school life, starting from daycare, students themselves are expected to keep their school clean. From what people there told me, some school have janitors or maintenance staff come in to perform deep cleans once a month or so, but all the daily stuff like mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet, taking out the garbage, raking the leaves, cleaning the desks, dusting off the furniture, etc are all done by the students themselves. When I was in middle school, one of the punishments for students who got in trouble was that they had to clean the cafeteria tables instead of playing at recess. However, in Japan, cleaning is not a punishment, it is part of everyone’s education. I remember in high school that hallways after lunch would be a disaster, and that same carelessness seems to carry over into office kitchen as well. Also deliberately making a mess to “stick it to the system” doesn’t make sense when your friends are the ones who end up cleaning up. I can see the merits of this kind of education.

There is also a financial benefit. How much money do American schools spend on janitors, school buses, and sports equipment? Things that other countries don’t spend money on at all because they lean on other public resources, and could therefore use the money on supplies and teacher salaries instead.

I would love to see schools in the United States take the lead on these ideas, but alas, I can already foresee the pushback. If schools started requiring students to spend one class period per week to clean and maintain the school, I can imagine at least a few parents causing a huge fuss about it. With regards to using facilities outside the school grounds, all it would take is a shooting, a fight, or an accident to turn this into a huge scandal. Even if such an event does not occur, at least a few parents will make a fuss about how it is not safe for kids to be in public on their own. These are the same parents that don’t allow their children to walk to school just the down the street without an adult.

However, I don’t think this is in the long run is doing anyone any favors. And this is where I want to transition briefly to talking about travel safety. The best thing you can do to improve your safety while traveling is to do the same things you plan on doing abroad at home. If you need to use public transit abroad, use it at home first. Use it to get to work, buy some groceries, or go to your gym. If you plan on enjoying the Swiss mountains, practice hiking on the steepest hill you can find in your hometown. Want to go clubbing abroad? Start by clubbing at home. I don’t care if the scene is dead or only attracts undesirable people, because there is a possibility you will end up with the same while traveling. No matter what mistake you make or encounter, it is better for it to happen at home where your friends, family, doctor, or someone else you know can bail you out. When traveling, you are on your own.

The next best thing you can do is embrace public spaces. You are much less likely to be the victim of violent crime in the public space than if you are alone. Sure you might witness some fights break out and encounter a fair number of weirdos, but there are also lots of people there to intervene if something does happen, or prevent something from happening in the first place. You don’t know anyone when you arrive in a new place, so the best you can hope for is herd protection.

For example, when riding an unregistered mini-bus in Barbados a weirdo came on board and started giving candy to all the children. He then sat down in the seat in front of me and my dad. As he was sitting down, I noticed he had something locked onto the back of his belt. I couldn’t tell for certain because it was under his shirt, but it was probably a large knife. I glanced towards the ticket master who noticed as well. At the next stop, the ticket master gave the man a handsome amount of money just to get off the bus. My dad sitting next to me was completely oblivious to what was happening until he saw the man get off the bus and pull out a large four inch knife.

There is safety in numbers. This is why a hostel with 6-12 people per room and no privacy is probably safer than staying at someone’s house where you are the only guest. Depending on where you are, a bus might actually be safer than a taxi. However, I hesitate to make such broad generalizations, because everything is so situational. Yes, a bus might be a safer option in the day, but is it still safe at night when you are waiting at a bus stop alone? Public places are generally safer, but that might not be true if the place you are traveling to has a lot of simmering racial, religious, or ethnic tensions. Crowded public places attract pickpockets and thieves, so if you are carrying valuables, maybe you should plan your route differently than if you were not. Then again, maybe you shouldn’t. Each situation is unique, and you need to pick up on subtle indicators to guide your decisions. Unfortunately, that only comes with experience, which brings me back to why I encourage people to rehearse what they plan on doing abroad at home first. It is also why I think parents should not just allow, but encourage schools to utilize more public spaces as part of the student’s education. Public places are generally speaking safe anyways, but people need to learn how to navigate them. Safety is a habit and a state of mind; it is not something you can purchase or add to a to-do list. It is something that is learned through experiences and keeping students imprisoned on school grounds is hindering that development.

Anyhow, that’s all I have to say about safety and traveling. So, returning to the main topic, I want to conclude this episode with one last observation I made about children. When I was growing up, I slept in the same room as my parents for most elementary school. The same was true for my cousins. I remember one uncle saying that he didn’t think his son was ready for his own room because he still wasn’t able to demonstrate that he could escape a room on his own in case of a fire without panicking.

I assumed this was the standard for all children everywhere. If they can’t escape a burning building on their own, they stayed in the same room as their parents or an older sibling. I saw movies where the parents had a nursery room with a crib or something similar, but I always assumed this was something like a play room, or a place to put a baby down for an afternoon nap. It didn’t occur to me that parents will put their newborn infants in a separate room overnight. This realization only came when I was couchsurfing in Dresden. The man I was staying with had an infant son. The child and the mother were off visiting grandparents, so we were alone. I commented on one of the toy trains I found lying around in the house. It was heavy and made entirely of wood. The man said it was the same toy his grandpa grew up with. It was in remarkable condition for having survived three children and 50 years. The man joked that the toy train turned out okay, but everything else in the train’s path did not. He took me to the nursery room to show me some of his son’s other toys. The nursery room was through the parent’s bedroom. This is one of the few times (in any country) I had a chance to glimpse into the master bedroom of my host. When I noticed there was no space or location to have the baby overnight, I asked where the baby slept at night. “In this room,” my host said as he opened the door into the adjacent nursery room. It was only at that moment I realized that oh, some babies sleep alone.

I would later learn that this was considered normal in most parts of Europe and the United States. Children, even newborns, will sleep in an adjacent, but separate room, but this isn’t true everywhere. When I was in the Dubai airport, a family put out some towels and slept on the floor while waiting for their next flight. One of the men, a brother, an uncle, I’m not sure slept a little further away from the others. The parents slept next to each other, and the two child snuggled in between the two parents. It didn’t seem unusual to either the parents or anyone else passing by. Heck even I would not have found it strange had I not just been to Dresden a few months prior and started paying attention to these things.

In Japan, it is considered normal for children to sleep with parents or grandparents until they start puberty, at which point the children begin to distance themselves on their own. I also observed some families where a parent would sleep with the child until they fall asleep, before retiring back to their own quarters. Now, I can’t generalize any of this to a national or even regional level. I rarely stay at homes with children, and even then I try not to be too nosy. However, a little bit of internet searching revealed exactly what I suspected, that there were huge regional and national disparities in how, where, and with whom children sleep with. In some cultures, especially in Europe and the United States, culture encourages children to sleep alone, to improve their independence. Meanwhile, other cultures have more relaxed attitudes about children and parents co-sleeping, allowing it as soon as a child is big enough and strong enough so that it is safe, up until they are like 10 or 11 years old. Some cultures, like Japan, even extend this freedom to include others like grandparents.

And its not just cuddling at night that was different. I have ridden public transit all over the world, including the United States, and I observed something interesting when children are on public transit with their mom or dad. When children are very young they want to climb and sit on their parents, and this seems to happen at about the same frequency pretty much anywhere, granted there is variation in how the parents respond. However, once a child has gotten too big for that, do they sit next to or across from their parents? If they sit next to their parents, do they lean on the window or on the seat, or do they lean on their parent? I found Sweden to be one of the closest, with children up to 10 years old showing no hesitation leaning on their parents or being kissed on the forehead. The USA and the UK by contrast had some of the highest distance, where children would often sit across from rather than next to their parent if given the opportunity. I can’t speak for the UK, but I would like to think that in the USA this is because we value independence. And yet, if American culture values independence, why is then children are so restricted at school, and possibly even after-school? Maybe American culture just frowns on intimacy. Or maybe it just frowns on intimacy in public?

Personally I think it is a little bit of both. The co-sleeping realization was surprising, but initially, I just found it amusing: oh, there is a cultural difference here, how interesting. But then I noticed especially online how there seems to be an attitude that if children want to sleep with parents it is a sign of dependency or other behavior issues. Huh? If that were true, half the world would be living in their parents’ basement. Furthermore, Japanese children seem to have the most liberal co-sleeping norms, and yet their schools encourage them to be far more independent than their American counterparts. I think the issue here is that the distinction between intimacy and dependency is being lost.

On the other hand, it could just be a privacy thing. And this sort of ties back to the beginning of the episode. I talked much about the virtues of public spaces, and why schools should make greater use of them. When discussing some of the challenges of doing that, I mostly focused on quality and safety. However, there is a third hurdle to overcome, and that is privacy. As I mentioned before, the students going to PE class at my gym were sharing the facility with me and other members of the public. I already spoke about safety in public places, but there is the question of privacy. Alas, I don’t have time to dive into that topic for now. So I will conclude today’s episode here, and next time will explore the topic of privacy further. Until next time.

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